I met my first ever closeted friend on Grindr. One of those blank profiles that hit you up with more than three “Hi.” We have been in a complicated FWB thing and I finally gathered enough courage to ask how people can stay in the closet for such a long time. At first it was hard, as my friend felt like I am invading personal spaces and what not.
“You just need to know how” was the only answer I got (I could sense a bit of irritability.) Advised by my friend, I came up with the list below of signs to detect a gay closeted man.
The closet is ‘safe’
Being a firm supporter of gay rights and ‘being-gay-is-okay’, I must confess I was a bit upset when I heard this, but according to my friend, whom I will refer to as Quinn, iron closets avoid coming out because they have incorporated the message that being gay is not normal. To these people, sex is just sex, and is the same as a bad habit that needs to be controlled, similar to a drug problem.
5 signs a guy might be closeted
- He stares at men- Closeted men often find themselves staring at men especially when they they someone is not noticing.
- He flirts with men- It is not common for men to sweet talk each other. They never ever do. So if a guy is being extra nice to another man without using straight words and say what they mean, it could mean he is gay. Only a man who’s sexually interested with another man would try to flirt with another man.
- He enjoys the attention of other men- A guy who flashes to a guy, every chance he gets, might be gay because straight men may like attention, but only if it comes from the opposite sex.
- Secret conversations- Men who get indulged in suspicious non-verbal communication with his male friends, perhaps a lingering gaze, or a touch that lasts way longer than necessary might be gay. Especially when a hug between him and another guy in public gets awkward.
- He doesn’t talk about gays- Men who get snappy and rude when you talk about homosexuality are gay. It’s a reflex action thing. Intense emotions always bring out intense expressions.Many publicly homophobic men tend to enjoy secret same-sex sexual encounters.
The following are unnecessary stereotypes:
- Men who wear tight clothes and bold patterns are gay.
- Men who groom themselves very well are gay.
- Men who loves arts are gay.
- Men who hate sports are gay.
- ‘Clean’ men are gay.